Living Morganism

Reuters Station, Andromeda - The inhabitants of the planet LS7498 in the galaxy NGC3690 have filed a class action lawsuit against the Primary Landowners of the planet and the owners of a nearby asteroid, the Quantum Minerals Corporation in an effort to block plans for a Merger of the two bodies. The merger would allow mineral extraction to continue on Asteroid NLO476, a rich producer of Dilithium Crystals, at a fraction of the current cost by utilizing the resources available on LS7498. The Inhabitants are seeking an injunction of the merger application citing the case of "Human Kind Vs. Google Mirth" 1 as precedent. 1 "Human Kind Vs. Google Mirth" famously resulted in the near extinguishment of all Human life when Google Earth and Google Moon executed a plan to merge their two bodies into a single object. The merger had promised shorter commutes and was acting acting upon the advise of advertising executives to re-new their companies image.

Earth Orbit- The last Man and Woman of Planet Earth were convicted Tuesday on charges of 'Failure to Ensure the Survival of the Human Race". The conviction did not come as a surprise to followers of this unprecedented case. The last human pair has cited 'irreconcilable differences' throughout their defense, but in a dramatic turn their arguments had been thrown out when the testimony of expert witnesses revealed that humanity did not meet the qualifications for status as 'Beings of Average Intelligence'. From then on the pair were no longer allowed to speak in their own defense under Intergalactic Law IQ101D. In previous dealings with the human race, the Intergalactic Judges Panel had been known to frequently make use of irony in their sentencing, in this case execution was ruled out due to impracticality. The pair, now being affectionately referred to as "Atom" and "Evil" (See also 'Notable Achievements of Humanity') were reclas...