Love

I seem to find I have this faith in the words ‘I love you’ as if said at the right time or under the right conditions, in truth and with pure intention, that some key will turn and a door will unlock. Freedom will be itself set free from the restraints of misunderstanding, mistrust and heartbreak. Love will be set loose upon us to make us not into slaves but willing bearers of such a message, of the truth that I can only in this place have faith in, that love is all. And I love you, I say it to you in my heart and sometimes even it reaches my lips whether you are present to hear it or not. I love you and I wish for those conditions when it is the right moment to release my heart. I love you and no physical space or time that I adhere to out of some sense of self guidance can break that. I love you and though I cannot feel your body next to mine you are beside me nevertheless. I love you, and I have faith that my heart does not give itself up for anything less than the chance of love returned; the chance of that unfolding and enfoldment, of unity. I love you and for the hope of you I continue toward healing. I love you and for the feeling you evoke in me I find these senseless and pretty words must be written to you. My heart writes poetry for you, and I feel the presence of what Rumi felt. There is madness in love and it has taken me over completely and I couldn’t desire for a different path. This is my path. I don’t know that I will find you at the end of these twists and climbs and occasional plunges but my faith in ‘I love you’ moves me. As much as I sometimes crave a pause and a sense of some security in a moment, I know I am moving toward love always and there is always more distance to close, more mystery to unwind, more to be discovered and welcomed. For all the loveliness of words attempting to describe such feelings there is such great difficulty in this endless journey. If love is all, then all the pain and stumbling and blindness is love too. All feelings have their place and time in love. Feelings of drowning and flying both, chaos and utmost clarity, longing and solitude. Peace and passion. I love you and I have not learned how to contain all these things and stay the course toward love unfailingly. But I possess within me the compass that adjusts my direction ever toward you as long as I can find calm and feel that magnetism.

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